Observing those around us should give us pause.
Not jumping into judgement and disgust, but realizing that like us, they have context, one that may be a thunderstorm of trauma and pain.
Fractured families.
Bruised and abused bodies before they knew how to read.
Words that rooted and defined and shaped the broken soul sitting beside you on the bus or passing on the street.
We don’t want to meet eyes in case their crazy is infectious, catching.
But what if we didn’t look away.
What if we weren’t afraid to shake their hand, share a drink, sit beside and listen.
Words might tumble out.
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I know I’m not alone in wanting the best for my children. I want them to grow up to be amazing humans.
Yet taking the time to put pen to paper and define “amazing” is a bit challenging.
What does an amazing human look like?
Compassionate.
Well educated.
Strong but humble.
A continuous learner.
Hard working.
Willing to stand up for the forgotten, for the underdog, for the displaced and disabled.
Curious.
Dependent on the Father for self worth and security.
Wonder filled and adventurous.
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Once the list is formed, one has to wonder, “how can I teach my children all these things?”
The easiest hardest part is modeling the behavior we want to see in our children.
If I want my children to respect those around them, it starts with me putting my phone down and looking the server or sales representative in the eye and using polite and gracious words.
If I want my children to be curious and well read, they need to see me devouring books, discussing my beliefs, and devoting time to studying subjects of interest.
If I want them to love and serve their neighbors, they need to see me forming friendships within our community, meeting needs of the elderly, and volunteering to help those around us. We know 20+ families in our neighborhood. We know when someone passes away, when a home catches fire, when someone is in need. We shovel snow and grab groceries for our older neighbors and share meals with the widow next door. We pray for the neighbors we know who are hurting and ask the Father to reveal to us needs that we as a family might be able to meet.
But if I model bias and disdain, why would my children do anything different?
If I want my children to turn their hearts toward the Father, yet they never see me spend time in His word or on my knees in prayer, how will they know the transforming power of His love and presence?
If I disappear into screens and online connections and ignore those right in front of me, why should I expect my children to practice self control and live in the real world too?
If I allow fear to determine who is worthy of my attention, time and resources, what are the chances they will grow in compassionate and empathetic people who are brave and willing to advocate for those without a voice?
Modeling responsible behavior and kindness is crucial to growing our kids in a difficult world. Expecting our schools or neighbors or churches to train our children in good habits and fine character is just not realistic or their responsibilities.
It starts at home. It starts with us.
And the reward is two fold- we also improve ourselves by setting goals and standards of behavior, and we grow in compassionate for others and become more well rounded and present human beings.
Be kind. For everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Plato