the skies are grey and mirror the way I feel. I wish the clouds would break open and let the rain pour; I think I would feel relieved if the rain came flooding like my tears. I am so heavy today. I feel burdened and empty and helpless.
There are so many evils in the world. And it’s easy to hunker down and stay in my little nest and forget about the troubles of others. The broken bodies and spirits and hearts. The aching and the lonely and the forgotten.
And today I am reminded of how blessed I am. How my simple worries are nothing, truly nothing compared to those who don’t know from where their next meal will come or who wonder if they will ever stand and walk away from their wheelchair.
I am angry. I want the evil punished. I want the advocates to pursue and defend. I want love to sweep through the hearts of all causing us to hold one another and heaven to come to earth. I want the lame to walk and the blind to see, the hopeless to be comforted and forgotten to be found.
And when I picture heaven I see beautiful fields of gold, wheat growing thigh-high and all of us running, everyone running and dancing and laughing and if we have tear stained cheeks, it’s only joy. It’s the unending praise of God and his bounty, provision, goodness, kindness. The blue skies, the deep and perfect blue, are above and the sun no longer blinds us- only His Glory as he passes. And then Jesus is there holding the hands of children. And he laughs as a small one tells him a story and the wind blows. We are all beautiful and whole.
But that’s not today. Today we aren’t whole. And today the lost are still lost and the broken still broken. And my heart breaks because heaven isn’t here. Not today.
Ecclesiastes 4:1-3 (NIV)
Oppression, Toil, Friendlessness
1 Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun:
I saw the tears of the oppressed—
and they have no comforter;
power was on the side of their oppressors—
and they have no comforter.
2 And I declared that the dead,
who had already died,
are happier than the living,
who are still alive.
3 But better than both
is the one who has never been born,
who has not seen the evil
that is done under the sun.
Today I am praying this, whispering this. Opening my hands, my empty hands and begging on behalf of those who have no words.
Psalm 102:2 (NASB)
2. Do not hide Your face from me in the day of my distress;
Incline Your ear to me;
In the day when I call answer me quickly.
Show me how to be a worker in your field. Help me defend the cause of the poor & needy…