Motherhood

“There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one” – Jill Churchill

My friend Jessie called and asked if I would let her come over and follow us around… actually, follow ME around while I did my thing.   She caught me on a good day, when my house was fairly clean and the laundry piles smaller than usual.  She asked me questions about my kids and what I did with each of them, things I want to remember.

Since Jack was little, we would lay on our beds, looking at the ceiling, making up stories about the shapes we see in the plaster and paint.  We curl into each other and I hold him tight and try to listen to his constant chatter, but I just want his body close and I want to smell his neck and pet his soft cheeks.  A few weeks ago, I heard him ask someone if they knew what “spooning” meant… I think he thought I made it up.

This.   This is everything.

We have very few traditions over here; I can name them on one hand.   I pull out a puzzle on Thanksgiving Day and we have a whole table dedicated to piecing it together until Christmas.   Sometimes it takes us the whole month, sometimes we finish it in days and pull out last year’s.   In the past summer months I’ve laid out a huge coloring sheet, typically it’s world map or US map.   We spend hot afternoons coloring and listening to audio books or music.  Sometimes it’s quiet, sometimes not.

And doesn’t everyone have baby chicks settled into teacups under mini quilts?

Poppy might ask me 117 times a week to scratch her back.  She wants to be touched and snuggled and close.

My Maggie.  It makes me giggle to think of the funny things we do- “kitty massages” and chin scratches.  I don’t hold her anymore- at least not like I did when she was a little girl.  But we talk and laugh and fight and forgive.

All these years of educating my children and I don’t have a single picture of me reading aloud to them… until now.  Hours of reading until I was hoarse.   Books we hated and books we read over and over.  Books we read because they were on the list, books we tried just because we liked the cover.

This Motherhood Project of Jessie’s is so important because it’s documenting real life moms doing what they do where they do it.  We’re not pretending over here.  We’re not getting dressed up and getting set up perfectly.   I admit, I did shower and blow dry my hair, but I do that anyways.

The point is, THIS is important work we do at home as moms.  Day after day goes by and it turns into years and suddenly the real stuff is only a memory.  And I don’t know about you, but my memory could definitely be better.  I don’t want to forget the snuggles and coloring and the baby chick following us around for days.   I don’t want to forget the tender hearts and the curious minds and the desire for physical closeness. These images are treasures because they tell the honest story of my life’s work.

Thank you Jessie.   Thank you a million times.